JoizDotOrg

I couldn’t find better words to describe this day so instead I’ll just post a comic strip *grins* I love garfield….

I’ve been light headed and spacing out for the last 2 days for reasons I don’t know… I don’t know if this is part of being pregnant or it’s just me. Every now and then, I’m finding myself staring into space. I’ve also been having tendencies of being way too sleepy even at work!

………waaaaaaah and I’m doing it again!

Everything’s been said and done and I’m still here
I’m here dazed and confused with what’s going on in this world…

you can’t see the dreams I’ve made for you,
Oh and I can’t imagine a life without you..

Are you still there my love?
I can no longer see you, could no longer grasp you..

Is there a way to get to you?
coz I can’t imagine life when you’re gone…

I can’t imagine life without you…

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tonight is depressing.

I’m sleepy. The deal is I slept way too late last night (is 1am really late? bwahahaha) and i woke way too early (like 9am is way too early? bwaahaha). So all in all, i just slept for a good 8 hours not counted the time I woke up around 4am because it was getting irritatingly hot. Ok so maybe 8 hours is enough for you guys, but not to a pregnant lady.

I’m really tired, it’s a good thing i did not have to endure any troublesome episode today with people at home or with anyone on the way to work or anyone at work so on and so forth…

I have been yawning for more than 10 times within just this hour. Argh… My brain is so dead… I’m too lazy to drink water (i’m not allowed to have coffee), too lazy to munch on something to keep me awake, too lazy even to sleep. (Duh! I’m at work! I can’t sleep!)

I’m such a hopeless case….

————————————–

I am not the girl you think I am….

I am an actress living my life as if I was on stage… I portray the character of a bitch, a radical, an extremist, an anarchist, an agnostic, an antagonist… a person without a heart, without a soul… a person who is sick of routine, sick of conformity, sick of conventions…

I am someone who pretends to be happy… someone who pretends to be strong… Yes maybe in some ways, I am what you perceive to be but I am not the girl you entirely think I am…

I am sensitive, pained, vulnerable, fearful and shy…
I wear a mask of indifference… a mask so tight that not even I am capable of taking off… a mask so powerful, I fear the removal of it…

Yes, I fear… I do have fears…

I fear blood especially mine, even if I am willing to shed it for a cause… I fear death, although I shamelessly face it and even run after it… I fear pain and rejection… I fear risks and I fear the outcomes of my actions… I fear betrayal… I fear loss… I fear I would not be loved…