JoizDotOrg

And I have a lot of ideas, there are actually a lot of things I’d like to do, and like to write about:

The storm that came and left. and the baha it managed to create

The movie I’m still dying to watch. waaaaah Transformers!! huhuhu

The movie I watched alone because my bf was sick and I can’t find a companion but who cares? I want to watch it! bwahahaha ang laki na ni Daniel Radcliffe (Harry), gwapo ni Tom Felton (Malfoy) although booo, too few scenes of him!!

The chop-chop soldiers. The ships that sailed into disasters. My undying patronage to Garfield, Calvin and Hobbes and anime.

Or photoblog tayo uli. Take photos and post them here instead of writing.

I have all these topics to mumble about but unfortunate for me, tinatamad ako magsulat.

mik: sick? ngarag? burned out?
joiz: I’m not ngarag at all, I just feel … uhm… mik: you feel…? acidic?
joiz: no
mik: harassed?
joiz: no
mik: constipated? undersexed?
joiz: wtf? lol no no no!
mik: … :-> you need a makeover.
joiz: yeah I think my blog needs a makeover…
mik: no I mean you just need hard core sex
joiz: amf gaga. that’s what you need. I’d rather need the makeover

Yan ang problema pag buntis ka e at due ka na. Feeling deprived tuloy ung isa dyan. F.U. sis.

Maybe I do need a makeover. I’m actually talking about my blog. -pauses- ok yeah I mean myself too.

Something is way way off with me physically, emotionally, psychologically, etc basta something is way off with me. I feel so sickly and in need of pampering lately. I have been suffering from the coughs (for two weeks!!! and I still sound like a dog barking!! ugh) and I’ve just been in an accident while I was overlooking the construction of my “office”, something fell on my head (hulaan nyo kung ano? ), I’d rather not elaborate since my brain does not and could not function properly for the last 58 hours. I’ve had xrays and ct scans which all says I’m normal but ehhh I don’t feel so well either ways. I feel like vomiting and I have dreams my brain is leaking from my nose and blood dripping from my ears. Gross imagination, I know.

Something tells me the whole world is conspiring against me yesterday.

For one, my pc and I were having a fight, you read that right, my PC. I wanted to work, it was loading everything slow; I wanted to open Photoshop, it wanted to hang; I restarted it, it says one of the drives was corrupted; I restarted again and it started crying out in long beeps. I was just about @#$%^&* it all over the place. So what happened? I gave up and took my last option: REFORMAT. Quick and painless, that’s what I thought, until…

I forgot that I didn’t make a backup of all my bookmarks on Firefox, I forgot to create backups of chat logs with clients who give out their ftp accesses, server login details, etc. I no longer remember my passwords on other sites and forums since I rely mostly on the password manager. That’s what you get when you rely on automation too much. *groans*

And the weather, oh god the weather was awfully annoying, no wind, no rain, no sign of ever cooling down. It was plain humid and annoying. And if the weather wasn’t bad enough, my skin allergies were making my arms irritatingly itchy and when sweat gets near the major allergy spots, it is oh so painful!!

I just woke up a few minutes ago and here I am again in front of the computer. Half working and half pretending to work. That didn’t make senseto me, anyways, I’m procastinating and at the same time, being rushed by a client. What luck.

I only had 10 hours of sleep. Finally was able to snooze for a bit, after the tirade I went through this week. I already said I haven’t had decent sleep last week, what’s worse for this week is I haven’t slept for more than two hours since Monday! Why? Here are the culprits…

1. Articles. Write 8 articles regarding real estates. I know what you’re thinking, hohum, but it’s my job. hinga malalim.

2. Templates. Arvin has been sending me psd files to encode, Sagbee hired me to make one of his templates. Kuya Noli also needs a wordpress theme and a phpld theme to match his existing site. Ate bridge wants an original blog theme too. I had myself wishing I was an octopus for a moment there.

3. Baby Queen. The kid needs attention too. I play with her during the afternoons when I’m suppose to be vacant. Can’t push work out of the way, can’t leave her around the afternoons begging for attention. haaay decisions decisions.

A lot of people ask this question to themselves, my friends ask me the same whenever they’re depressed with their love life situations. The same question runs through my mind whenever I face my own reality.

How indeed do you let go of someone you never had? Someone who has unconsciously become a part of your world, someone you couldn’t eat without, sleep without, dream without, breathe without, live without. Someone who unconsciously attached themselves to you but you know could never become fully yours.

I have been asking this same question to myself for the past relationships I’ve been through and I still haven’t found a surefire, painless, easy-go answer to it. And getting stuck in a situation similar to mine is hard, it’s like dying everyday of your life. There is no easy way to get out of love and you’d have to be freaking heartless to avoid falling in love entirely. I’m a fool. A stupid romantic fool.

Ah, I’m mumbling once again and don’t know how to end.