JoizDotOrg

Tears were threatening to fall when suddenly I felt myself float up from the floor. I blinked and realized someone from the stage had just grabbed my arm and has pulled me up. Before I could utter a protest, I found myself staring into his blue eyes. He started singing to me and I was lulled to complete silence by his voice.

My boyfriend loved this song. But he wasn’t here to listen to it. I thought he loved me, but he left me here as well. I guess everything I thought he loved was wrong. He broke up with me during the concert. Not before. Not after, but while this band was singing. Just before the last song. The moron.

Hatred still filled my mind and I was too preoccupied with my thoughts that I wasn’t exactly aware I was on stage in front of a lot of people, my hand being held by this guy they’ve all been praising like a god the whole night.

I find myself staring into nothingness wishing you were here
Looking for answers to questions in my mind, answers that I fear
Like where are you now? What you doing? And who’s holding you?
Is there someone new? Does she love you the way I do?And then in spite, I turn my head and wipe the tears away
for I don’t know why you do this, why can’t I make you stay
I’m lost, confused and I don’t know what I should do
I gave you my heart and I think you just left it somewhere too

Could it be that I’m foolish and stupid, could it be that I’m blind
Tell me if you let me look inside your heart, would it be me I would find?
Oh these silly questions, I know I shouldn’t ask anymore, I know it’s not right
for I should have known the answers when you didn’t showed up that night

You didn’t know how painful that was for me, I guess you won’t care
And I know I shouldn’t hope anymore, fate just has not been so fair
I admit I want to kiss you one last time, just to show you what I feel
But I guess now, I don’t have that right, it’s a reality I should deal

lately you’ve been cold
insensitive
uncaring and unreachable

you promised to me
this love of ours won’t change
but why has it come to this?

it feels like you’ve left
you left without goodbye
you left me without telling why

am I still in your heart?
I just want you to know
my love for you hasn’t changed

will my troubled heart
be left waiting
for your promises?

what should I do?
Should I wait for you?
But why? why did you go?

will you still come back?
come back to my arms?
will I ever feel your love again?

I’m still holding on to “us”, love
holding on even though we’re far apart
I’m still holding on to your promises

I Love You… But I’ve felt the greatest pain there could possibly be,
The lies I still have to face just to set you free
Enduring its pain just to see you happy
Even if my own heart has to die desperately.

I’ve only got one choice and simply to fake a smile
Pretend I don’t hurt when I’m dying inside
I love you this much that I’m letting you go
I love you so much it hurts… Oh! God take my sorrow

Do you still remember you said your promises are for keeps?
Then that night we sealed it with our very first kiss
You said with eyes locked on mine that I’ll be yours forever
And leaving me with shattered heart will be never.

I love you… but I guess it’s not meant to be
I love you… but it’s time to set you free
I love you… but you love her more
I love you… but the throbbing I could no longer endure

I love you, but why can’t you love me more?

by Jelai of noypi.org

It hurts you know? Haay. Here’s another one but this time, I wrote this…

I feel like a fool uncertain of what I should tell you, and what I should feel
Should I love you because you say you love me? Because you say you’re real?
But words are just words and only comes from the mind and mouth
How can I be certain if distance hinders us from finding out?

I have so many questions, about you, your life and all
Why do I have a feeling that I am starting to fall?
But a tired heart can’t be certain for it has been broken before
Can you love and accept my past, my present and more?

I want to know you better, I want to see your face,
I yearn to feel your touch, yearn to feel your embrace.
This is me. No pretence. Fragile. Afraid to hurt again
A single mother. A broken lover. Scared deeply by foolish men

Tell me if I made you smile because the thought of your smile brightens up my day
Tell me if I am the reason for your tears so I could take your pain away
Tell me if I said something wrong coz I can’t read your emotions
Tell me if you’re faking things coz I’m tired of pretensions