JoizDotOrg

The picture will tell you otherwise but I am actually still in frustration that I cannot finish any of the designs I have been working on since the start of the year. Moping around with a broken heart and bad ailment is not my thing. I have been trying everything to get my brain out of the designer’s block. I have gone and busied myself this year, meeting up with the guys and gals of TMB (The Man Blog), meeting new friends through Facebook and that Human Pets application, going crazy with the drinking buddies, finally seeing a big client, caught up with family reunions and bonding times, tried and enjoyed playing Airsoft, caught up with college friends, hanged out with my daughter, pushed to the limits, gone on vacation and heck I may have done it all, except the designs I should have finished by now! I hate having my imagination down in the dumps!

I checked the toilet, my brain’s not there! Have I been stressing myself too much lately? Did I kill my skill/talent/whatever you call it? Have I lost all inspirations? Graaaaaaaaah

If other people have been asking to be awaken when September ends, there are only two key things I want this October…

I demand more loving and sleep!!!!@#$%^

How can you die on me when you are my life!??!?!! Ooooo how dramatic.

As if my personal problems aren’t enough, my cpu had to die.

My hard drives (yes two of them!) recently just died on me. The data drive was in critical condition these past few weeks and has died during the weekends now even the system disk gave up last night. Leaving me with only so little backup of files that I have on my external drive.

I have been unnerved by the fact that some of the files I need to get my work done has flown off with the wind. The hardest part is I lost all my mp3s and mp4s that I have so painstakingly collected through the two years I was with my pc.

And the anime episodes I haven’t backed up yet! Naruto, Samurai X, Detective Conan…! Oh the pain! The pain!

In a few minutes, I’d be buying a new hard drive. I don’t know what else to do or what else to buy. Do I need a new pc? I can’t afford one right now. Maybe after payday but I can’t have “payday” when I can’t work now can I?

I just woke up a few minutes ago and here I am again in front of the computer. Half working and half pretending to work. That didn’t make senseto me, anyways, I’m procastinating and at the same time, being rushed by a client. What luck.

I only had 10 hours of sleep. Finally was able to snooze for a bit, after the tirade I went through this week. I already said I haven’t had decent sleep last week, what’s worse for this week is I haven’t slept for more than two hours since Monday! Why? Here are the culprits…

1. Articles. Write 8 articles regarding real estates. I know what you’re thinking, hohum, but it’s my job. hinga malalim.

2. Templates. Arvin has been sending me psd files to encode, Sagbee hired me to make one of his templates. Kuya Noli also needs a wordpress theme and a phpld theme to match his existing site. Ate bridge wants an original blog theme too. I had myself wishing I was an octopus for a moment there.

3. Baby Queen. The kid needs attention too. I play with her during the afternoons when I’m suppose to be vacant. Can’t push work out of the way, can’t leave her around the afternoons begging for attention. haaay decisions decisions.

People say it’s only natural
Being hurt, being the fool again
And that I’d be free and loved
But tell me when, tell me whenHow do I go on, pretend nothing’s changed
when I’m already dying inside
you left a scar in my heart, you killed my soul,
you’ve burned a mark on my mind