Love Just Won’t Do

I’m tired beyond relief. I hate my job (well not all of it, just the parts where I’m assigned to stuff my title doesn’t cover). I miss my baby sooo bad I’m actually rethinking about continuing my day job. The only problem is I worry that I might not make enough by working at home.

So people ask don’t you have a boyfriend? I do and as much as I want to keep things private about me and David, people still ask. We don’t live together, a few knows about that. He’s not a bad guy, I know he’s trying to be a good father and boyfriend but his attitude and his family’s attitude always seems to be the problem. He hasn’t told anyone other than his father and brother and I am actually starting to hate the fact that his dad and brother don’t seem to care about us. Don’t they even ask about me and Fiona? Don’t they care that David actually has his own family now? They never showed up to see the baby when I gave birth, and I have no plans of inviting them to Fiona’s baptism. My baby’s christening is happening next month and where are they? Don’t they plan to help out? I’ve tried to keep things secret from my parents but it makes my mom angry at me. My baby’s needs are growing and everything else seems to be dying.

Love? David says he loves me but saying it just isn’t enough for me anymore.

I thought LOVE can melt the pain no matter how much pain you get… But I was wrong because now I know PAIN can destroy the love, no matter how great love is.

I’m still trying to keep things together no matter how hard it is.

"Love Just Won’t Do" was posted on Saturday, July 8, 2006 at 9:37 pm and is filed under Emotera Syndrome.

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3 violent reactions ↓

Darren
07.10.06 | 10:15 am

The worst thing you can do is be in a job you hate doing - you spend alot of your life working, so you’ve got to do something you enjoy.

Your very talented, so I have no doubt you could work from home on your own business - think about reducing your hours, and then working on the business part time - that’s what I did, and when the business was earning a good income I packed in the job and now work full time from home.

Keep Smiling :):):)

Louis
07.10.06 | 7:16 pm

I agree with Darren, doing a job that you don’t like, especially when you have other concerns on your mind is not helping you.

I have no doubt that you adore Fiona and love your boyfriend but don’t forget about YOU. Keep smiling and for what it’s worth, remember that you have friends that care about you.

Deb
07.12.06 | 10:15 am

I came to you through another blog site. I am sorry to hear about the trouble with your boyfriend and his family.

I love the name you chose for your daughter - Fiona. I work with a software team in Ireland, and one of my team members is named Fiona. She is smart, funny, and is the mother of young children herself. I believe that the intention behind the name you give your child helps shape his or her future. My own daughter, Laura, was named after a family friend who is a marketing vice president in a Fortune 500 company. I always pictured my daughter’s name on a nameplate attached to an imposing door, on a large corner office in a very successful company. Well, right now she’s only 11 and I can’t get her to keep her room picked up so I don’t know how that corner office will work out
In any event, it sounds like you are taking on the hardest job in the world - that of a single mother. My sister went through it, and I don’t envy you. However, remember that there is a huge support network out there surrounding you. It’s hard to force yourself to focus on the positive but you HAVE to for your sake and Fiona’s. Your natural instinct to give your daughter the world will help you through the tough times. Dig down deep - you have it in you!